


White Whales

by last_illusions (injured_eternity)



Series: Crisis of Guilt [1]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Episode Tag, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-09-24
Updated: 2009-09-24
Packaged: 2017-10-17 08:51:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/175081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/injured_eternity/pseuds/last_illusions
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For a moment, all he sees is futility.</p>
            </blockquote>





	White Whales

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers: 4x18 ["Omnivore"]

He makes it to the middle of the case before he breaks. Standing in the middle of a bus full of slaughtered people because he refused the Reaper’s deal feels like he pulled the trigger himself, and for a moment, all he sees is futility.

Almost every agent reaches a point where screaming “why??” at God feels like a good idea, regardless of religious affiliation. Slightly fewer find their own white whale to pursue. He’s found his without really hunting, but it’s like running from a mountain lion, only to find you’re stuck on the edge of a cliff. Either way, you’re screwed. He hasn’t had one of these moments in a while, not like this, not this overwhelming.

This, then, is why he’s alone in the middle of the alley, feeling the pounding in his head and behind his eyes. He hates this feeling, wanting to slam his fist through a wall, or _not_ be an agent for five minutes alone with the unsub, or just break down and cry. Maybe all three. Dave follows him—he hears _him_ before he hears his voice—and he bites back the instinctive, defencive lashing out. It won’t solve anything.

He listens to Dave call him an arrogant prick—perhaps not in so many words, but the sentiment is there—and pinches the bridge of his nose. Then he takes a deep breath and waves away the gun, because this _isn’t_ about him, no matter what it feels like, and goddamnit but the Reaper will not get inside his head and win. Squaring his shoulders, he gives in to the urge to smile. Flair for the dramatic, indeed.

  
 _Finis._

 _Feedback is always appreciated._


End file.
